True friends stab you in the front. Oscar Wilde

Saving Your Relationship: Communication Is Key


When you get into a relationship, for the first few months or so its a complete whirlwind of emotion. Its just you and that other person. Nobody else in the world exists. You cant wait to spend every second with that person, to share everything with them. Whenever something happens to you, you cant wait to tell them. Soon, the relationship blossoms and you take the next step; you move in together, and maybe you get married. Something happens, then, over the course of the next few months. Its no longer a whirlwind of emotion. Even the passion seems to have disappeared. Soon, the two of you dont even talk at all and, if you do, its only to argue. Sounds like its time to work on saving your relationship.

Saving a relationship can be tricky but it can be done. The first thing you have to do when saving your relationship is to try and recall what brought the two of you together in the first place. If it was a certain place, go back to that place and try to recreate the first time the two of you met or got together. If it was a common interest or hobby that brought the two of you together, get involved with that same hobby again. Whatever it takes, you need to begin communicating with your partner again because its communication that is the only thing that will work when saving your relationship.

Open The Lines Of Communication

To open the lines of communication, both parties have to agree that saving the relationship is in both of your best interests. If one party likes the idea and the other thinks it wont work, it wont. You both have to agree that saving the relationship is something youd like to do. When this decision has been made, you both have to sit down and talk. Thats it, just talk, and see what problems the other is having with the relationship. Sometimes, all it takes is talking about these problems to bring them to the surface so that they can be dealt with. Often times, its a lack of communication that puts a wedge between the couple. When you communicate, you come closer together. For this reason, communication is so important when saving your relationship.

If talking doesnt work, there are other options as well. You can see a relationship counselor or you can decide to agree to disagree. It must be noted that not every relationship is going to work out in the long run. Sometimes, its best for both parties to, instead of saving your relationship, part ways and decide to become single once more.

To Find the Solution, First See the Problem
By Julia Solomon

 If you think about it, you may have noticed how often people try to find solutions to a problem without being sure what the problem actually is. You may also have noticed that attempting to resolve a problem in this manner is futile-- in fact, it is nearly impossible!

In order to find a solution, it is essential to make acknowledging the problem the very first step. While it would seem that this should "go without saying," you would be surprised at how many people miss it entirely, and try to rush headfirst into possible solutions without fully acknowledging what difficulties they are up against.

With this in mind, you can avoid the time-consuming, frustrating trap which too many fall into; and, instead, start at the beginning.

You can begin by asking yourself what problems you and your spouse are encountering. You will then know what difficulties need to be resolved, and what you wish to accomplish. A good way to go about this is to read through this book, and after you have thought about the topics contained within, get together with your spouse for a discussion. You can share your thoughts and feelings, and ask your spouse to share his or hers. Not only will this help in making progress toward finding solutions, it will also open up the lines of communication.

So, what kinds of problems are occurring in your marriage? Are you and your spouse losing touch with each other from basic lack of communication? Do you feel as if you are growing apart, and no longer feel as if you have an active place in each other's lives? Are there disagreements, or arguments, over such factors as money, jobs, children, and other people? Are you and your spouse considering a separation-- or, even worse, a divorce?

These, as well as most other factors which can cause a marital relationship to fall apart, can be resolved. You do not need a pile of "modern" books or other fads; and except in the most extreme cases, you do not need "couples counseling" or therapy. You can begin to put your marriage back together, reconstruct the joy that you both experienced at the beginning, and use both that initial joy and your mature experiences to make your marriage stronger and happier than ever!

After you have put some careful thought into acknowledging what problems you are confronting, it is also important to decide what you wish to accomplish. Do you want more quality time with your spouse? Do you want to be able to come to agreements, or respect for different stands, on various important issues?

One important point to keep in mind is that goals for a marriage are as individual as the people are individual. What this means is that what may be ideal for your friend or your sibling may not be so ideal for you and your spouse; unfortunately, it may also mean that what you want is not the same as what your spouse wants.

However, while the best time to have come to conclusions about the kind of marriage, goals and ideals that you both want was before you were married, even if you are just now encountering these differences it is never too late to resolve your differences and reach a common ground which you both should find acceptable.

Have you assessed the problem and discovered the specific difficulties which you are confronting? Have you put careful thought into deciding on the goals you wish to accomplish? Good for you! You have taken the first important steps! Your marriage is not only worth preserving and improving-- you can make it happier and stronger than ever!

Read about relationship breakup and trust in a relationship at the Relationship Guide website.